By
Obododimma Oha
When some people want to laugh, crying becomes tempting. As my father used to say, "What one does not like likes coming one's way. Contradictions. Contradictions fighting. Always fighting. But if there's no night, how can we appreciate daylight? Bitterness makes sweetness worthwhile. In fact, there could be sweetness in bitterness. It is a matter of a reading by the tongue.
When invited to laugh, prepare to cry.
Wasn't I talking about the thinness of boundary between Sadness and Joy? Each wants attention and wants to rule. Sadness doesn't even want to stay alone. It wants Joy to keep it company. Are they no longer siblings, not just close neighbors? What the gods have put asunder....
Let us look very closely at laughter. Let's ask laughter if it's really happy or just making noise, disturbing the environment. Laughter appears to be interested in performing for the other. Laughter appears to be doing something with noise, weaponizing, hurting, hunting, daring, daunting. Laughing is an act, for or against.
Who is that victim or thing at whose expense this laughter is being launched?
Do you remember the story of Otụrụkpọkpọọ the woodpecker? It boasted that whenever its mother died it would teach the branches of trees in the neighborhood a big lesson by perforating them with its beak. But when its mother died, a big boil grew on its beak. That meant that it could not actualize its plan.
Lamentation in this household, in this village, in this town, in this community, in this ethnic group, in this country, in this galaxy, for a soul that has departed. Rejoicing in that household, in that village, in that town, in that community, in that ethnic group, in that country, in that galaxy, for that baby that has just arrived. Sadness and Joy. Always neighbors. Even same sometimes.
Sadness when Old School blocks the way to New School, wanting to hold sway forever. Or New School not caring about Old School and not listening to sound advice, wishing Old School a speedy death. Sadness over human decay and Joy over being nowhere and going nowhere. Joy over nothingness and absence of thinking. Joy over emptiness.
Sadness and Joy always follow us. There was a day I saw a friend, Pius Adesanmi. I was teaching but I stopped when I saw him. We shared our usual jokes and mock fights and parted in joy. Few days later, I heard that he had died in a plane crash. Sadness. Great sadness. You can see why one should remember that thin boundary between Sadness and Joy. It is very thin, indeed.
There was professor with whom I shared a bloc of flats and could vouch for him for being a peaceful soul. I saw him once helping his child to learn to walk. He retired and moved out, while I was moved to another accommodation. But since his wife was still working for the university, they were given another official quarters. One day while going to my office, I saw his children helping him to walk to their living place. That, sadly, was the last time that he walked or was in this world. Few days later, I heard that a vigil was being held for him. He had used his legs for the last time, but he hardly knew. How very thin the boundary?
Death is not the only road to sadness. We also have illnesses, poverty, relocation of people, etc. But one thing that we forget : the sadness may just be a breath away from rejoicing or may represent human poor comprehension of a process. It may be necessary to become poor in order to understand affluence fully. Things of life do not just follow human laws and expectations.
Joy is very uncomfortable, very sad, that Sadness is sitting near, very close! Joy would like to shift a bit, to avoid a contamination, an infection! Don't blame Joy. You can't be too certain. It could happen. So, to be safer, space. Spatiality. Distance. That means discomfort!
Thin Boundary. Sadness could be transformed into Joy, and Joy could be transformed into Sadness. That means : be careful. The boundary is very thin. An Igbo expression summarizes it: "Ogbu onye mgbe ndụ na-atọ ya ụtọ" (That which kills a person when that person is enjoying life). It is very true.
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