By
Obododimma
Oha
I have been
wanting to have this letter written and sent through the social media (I hear
they have that kind of magic now!) to all readers of Chinua Achebe’s Things
Fall Apart, a novel in which I was conscripted into being a character and
given the worst type of honour! Anyway, this seems to be a good opportunity,
for I hear that fiction can become fact in that human world and that
fictional characters can freely step
into the ilo, even be the chair of
meetings attended by ọzọ-titled men! Alụ! Anyway, a world of alụ; I am not surprised, a world in which
good people like Okonkwo can be presented as bad people who hate women like the
dog hates cow dung, and even cause him to hang himself and go to the evil
forest! So, you can hate fictional characters that much? It is good that I am
here now, killed by one Chinua Achebe for you and taking all the blame, even
from the people of Umuofia! May thunder...! I would break somebody’s head for
representing me wrongly at the ilo!
Imagine!
In case you
get this letter, don’t worry about the half-naked town-crier. He is coming from
far and may not be able to answer your questions; he does not even know the one
who sent him with the message. Just collect the letter and allow him to go. Ah,
well, even if do not allow him, he would just vanish and create a stir for you.
Some of you may even faint!
Well, here is
the content, in case it is lost in the confusion. That Achebe simply put ugly
words in my mouth and made me utter them. It is true that I do not like
weaklings like Unoka, but I do not see this weakness in women either. I do not
directly or indirectly support only men being in control, what more saying, “This
meeting is for men.” How could I have said that, with all that women have done
for me? This Achebe must be wicked to make me look down on women! Unoka’s
weakness is of a different type. Maybe Achebe should hold a private meeting with him in his hut and find out. His
weakness is nothing like that of a woman. If anything, women are good-planners;
dedicated people, powerful, well-focused, and domestic. A true warrior like me
would not go against such species, unless I am mad and stupid.
Now, this
reaction against the white man and committing suicide. Don’t I know how
individuals who commit suicide are buried in my culture? How can I make myself
a laughing stock by killing myself? With all my title? Imagine going to that
same evil forest where Unoka the idler went with his stupid flute! I did not
hang myself! Yes; I matcheted the white man’s messenger, but I did not kill
myself afterwards. Maybe Achebe knows where I am hiding and does not want to
disclose it to avoid arrest! Anyway, I retreated to the world of imagination
and have travelled from there to the spiritworld. I hear that Chinua Achebe is
here now. They are still cleaning his hut and he will move in his things in
soon. Well, I did not kill myself. That’s the truth. That Achebe is only
trying to end the story quickly, as the
logic of many human narratives go. Fast,
as if one’s fingers need some rest desperately.
You would
agree with me that killing the messenger of the white man begins a story. It
does not end it. Kill Okonkwo and the story ends. Nonsense. That’s cheap! I
did not die and could not have killed myself. I killed the idiot sent by the
white man and waited for the white man to pick up his own matchete, if he was
my equal. I could not have killed myself when action was hot on the ground
beating the ikolo!
So, when you
are offering sacrifices to that Chinua Achebe who told lies about me and
dropped his pen quickly, ask him to come to the human world and finish his
story, if he can. He should not use my death as an excuse. I did not die at all!
Please, let
readers of Things Fall Apart know
this. I don’t hate women and did not hang myself like a coward. Achebe was just
looking for a way of making me look like an efulefu.
He put words into my mouth, being my human creator. As if that is not enough,
he killed me at the end to end his story with a funny human logic.
Yours the
Achebean victim,
Okonkwo, ọkụ
gbara ọzara.
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