The FUN in Funerals and the Not-so-funny

By

Obododimma Oha


You must have read it from the writings of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross or got the idea from the monitoring of behaviour in some societies. Many people are afraid of death and do not want to talk about it. As an area of silence in discourse, few people that have the courage to talk about it may be seen as crackpots or people who do not know that they invite death to come when they talk about it. An ancient superstition that still affects discourse! But death remains an important and interesting issue to talk about, apart from the fact that it is an inevitable experience for everyone. We spend all our time trying to save our lives and finally lose them. As mortals, we are built with expiry dates! This unfortunate dread and its superstitious origin noted, the focus of this short essay is funeral itself. The essay sees funerals as the entertainment of the living for the living, and not the supposed pleasing of the spiritworld, making it possible for the spirit of the dead to be welcome in the community of ancestors, and other interesting imaginative schemes.

Funerals are widely understood as final rites of passage and could differ from culture to culture. Yet an intersection to all is that the activity is necessary and is the last honour we can give the dead. Also, that the dead can get angry and wreak havoc on the living if not so honoured! So, fear becomes a part of the reason for doing it again. Who knows what the dead can do and how? The best is avoidance! Let us just do it to avoid trouble!

Further, it is other people that normally organise and host the funeral. Culture frowns at the idea of one hosting one’s funeral or making some arrangements ahead of time. Although some have courageously gone ahead to buy their own caskets, arrange for cremation, vigils, ambulance service, etc, many cultures do not like this at all. They think that these are better done in one’s absence. And so, whether a cow or a chicken is slaughtered when one dies, should not be what one has to arrange. Arranging for  one’s funeral looks like a clear invitation being sent to death! And nyanga dey sleep, trouble come wake am! Fear, again!

In my Igbo culture, slaughtering a cow for a deceased is considered a big honour, without which the spirit of the deceased could react negatively. The superstition is such that any tragedy that befalls anyone who refuses to give a cow is interpreted as a manifestation of the anger of the deceased. If the spirit of the deceased is in Hell, God would in spite of His omnipotence permit the evil spirit of the dead (from Hell) to come to the world to wreak havoc. If the spirit is in Heaven singing Halleluia, it will go on break, come to the world to wreak havoc, and omnipotent God would allow it! The human assumption (or fear) is that we do not know what happens over there across the bridge.

So, funerals posture in satisfaction of what we do not know happens over there. Some people who have gone there before can tell us. And they have been telling us, imposing funerals to please the spirit of the dead. Somebody can even be given funerals over and over again, provided there are resources to waste and cows to slaughter or ground cannons to shoot in a more intimidating way.

What is a funeral if not the FUN that your friends and relatives want to have because you are dead? You will not partake in eating the bulls and goats they slaughter or drink the bottles of beer. You are certified dead and going into that darkness alone. If you wake up, they run and won't like it because you are spoiling their FUN!

Funerals are not so funny after all if my lean resources are spent to please the dead and I have to go borrowing afterwards or sell a plot of land! Kinsmen that want to eat beef should not remind me that I have not given a cow to my late father. Survival, I know, involves some tricks in some societies, but fear and superstititon should not be brought in to disarm unwilling souls.



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