Ikwunaibe

By

Obododimma Oha

The bedrock of the sense of community in Igbo culture is “ikwunaibe” (roughly translated as “kith and kin.” Ikwu na ibe! Recall that blog article of mine playfully titled, “The Lexical Drum with Two Heads: Igbo Double-Barreled Nominals and the Incomplete Completeness”  https://obododimma.livejournal.com/#entry_10577 ). So, “ikwunaibe" is in that family. Sometimes the Igbo would just say “ikwu,” instead of the double-barreled expression. Whatever may be the case, it has to do with a sense of relationship, of community and is an admirable indigenous networking of the family tree. Unfortunately, many that encourage the sense of community today do not think of the various ways that the ancient Igbo tried to build and sustain community. They had ties that they had to service from time to time, in that process making the individual have robust education on his or her ikwu and ibe. One grew up knowing one’s uncles and aunts, nephews and nieces, cousins (both distant and near), and can also recite one’s ntaala or genealogy. It was such a shame to be shown any of these then. But now that many Ndiigbo, due to factors like professional transfers, elite culture of individualism, western preference for isolation or individualistic spirit,feminist thinking, coupled with the unfortunate desire by some wives to stay away from their husband’s relatives, the idea of “ikwunaibe” has remained one of the areas of conflict between nuclear Igbo families and extended family. In addition, poor understanding of ikwunaibe, especially following the uncritical consumption of Nollywood films about extended family incursions, has intensified the fear of ikwunaibe and isolation of Igbo persons from the extended family. If the ikwunaibe is not configured as a potential devourer by a pastor, the films would construct it as a source of diabolical influence. Not there are no instances of such diabolism, but. we cannot because of the few cases ignore the many positive things one can gain from ikwunaibe.

Is it not one of the areas of surprise for us in Lionheart, where our stereotyping of Osuofia (Ukwa in the film, Ukwa) beclouds our understanding that he could be of immense help to Adaeze and the company? We expect  ikwunaibe to be the real collapse of the company when he comes over from Owerri Branch to head the company. We imagine him as the conspirator and ogre that, as in Ukwa, may even desire to inherit Adaeze’s mother. But, no, ikwunaibe proves to be her sustenance and saviour as exemplified by Godswill.

So, one lesson we can learn is that ikwunaibe is the pillar, the strong support, for its member in trouble, not a devourer. The Igbo couch it beautifully in the concept of “Umunna bụ ike” (The kinsfolk are one’s strength). In other words, the idea of the “strength of the many” arises from Ikwunaibe. The Igbo would further ask rhetorically, “O dobe mmanya ọra, o nwekwara ụmụnna? (That person that keeps wine to sour, does he (or she) not have kinsfolk?). The underlying idea is that the ikwunaibe can drop bye any moment and would drink the wine to a finish in the discourse so that none remains to get sour!

The idea of “Only my spouse and I” is a poor form of thinking and thoughtless isolation!

Ikwunaibe suggests a close tie and therefore a closer understanding. Thus the ikwunaibe person is also a strong defender and source of confidence. The Igbo say that: Otu onye no nanị ya bụ ozu (One that lives alone is a corpse). One that lives alone may be an ọkpọolu (lone survivor) and is often oppressed by those in the majority in the society, or may be okokporo agụ (an isolated chronic bachelor who does not want a wife). But the ọkpọolu and okokporo also have ikwunaibe. Their ikwunaibe would inherit their possessions when they die, and so still provide the Western “next-of-kin.”

Ikwunaibe, among other things, gives one the impression that one is linked. It is considered admirable in Igbo  culture that one is the midst of many people (ịnọ n’ikpo mmadụ). These ikpo mmadụ provide the much-needed warmth. The society offers us the pleasure of interdependency and intersubjectivity. That interdependency or imtersubjectivity is not a promotion of the Unoka Syndrome, but of caring and collective learning (in the presence of others).

Furthermore, because, ikwunaibe cares, it is one reason Okonkwo in Achebe’s Things Fall Apart has to run to his maternal home and feels at home, until his kinsmen through entreaties get him back to Umuofia. His mother’s people are also his ikwunaibe. It is otherwise called ikwunne in Igbo thinking. It is as if ikwunne is in a competition with "ikwunna" (such is largely ignored or not talked about) on caring for the person, a strong pull expressed in the Igbo saying: ọsọ chụba mmadụ, ọ gbalaa ikwunne ya (If one is being pursued, one runs to one’s mother’s relatives from one’s mother’s side). Does that not indicate that maintaining a healthy link with one’s mother’s relatives is also necessary?

I do not want to enumerate the sundry other things that one can gain from ikwunaibe. But the governing word is “trust.” If one can build and develop trust in one’s ikwunaibe, one can enjoy these benefits. But where there is no trust, we are just wasting our time. But I expect enlightened Africans who have benefited immensely from western modernity and Christianity to even devise ways of allowing ikwunaibe to invigorate them. The culture of isolationism and not maintaining contact with one’s ikwunaibe for years is not admirable. Those promoting it but talking about the need to build community are just joking.