Mother and the Wisdom of Liking One's Work.

By

Obododimma Oha

Father tried to turn a  boy into a man, and I have referred to him as my hero. But what of mother? Did she undermine this project, thinking she had got an alternative husband? No. She liked it and worked very hard to make sure it succeeded. One of the things she did to make sure that it succeeded was that she backed it up with narratives to make one  realize clearly that the pupil in her classroom would one day become a teacher with his own headaches.

 These narratives were mainly folktales which relaxed the mind and helped one to sleep very well at night. They were not like the frightening, windings folktales told by adult males in the family, tales that would make one kick the next sleeping person in a dream without knowing it or shout in one's sleep and want to hold the next sleeping person very tightly. Her tales were a great therapy. 

She also taught me to enjoy work (even though, in all honesty, one hated work), and to see work as what justifies daily living. You will now see how. 

Let us first consider her attitude to work and her wise sayings in this direction. Mother believes strongly that one needs to justify the food that one has eaten through work done before or afterwards. How could somebody who is not ill wake up and be washing his or her mouth at midday, she would wonder. How could a person just be visiting or playing music when his or her mates are working somewhere? So, her commitment as a teacher in those days was to make us, her pupils, live to work, or to see life as being meaningful in work. In assigning tasks to us, she would also tell us that when a child has not got stamina for work, that child would look for where to start a fight. That child would go to Afọ and fight, go to Nkwọ and fight, go to Orie and fight. Even if the child goes to Eke, it is to fight. Imagine that. It can even be applied to societies. 

So, you see, mother is a great farmer and a great thinker. Here is another agriculturally-oriented proverb that she is fond of: "When the okra plant is unable to grow a very sturdy branch, it would claim that the soil is too strong." Interesting. So, who would want to like the okra plant? None of us.

If her wisdom circulated around work, I think it was because of her training as a young girl. This amazing woman gave special training to her daughters but did not leave her sons to waste away or go with the wrong education that some kinds of skills are not for them. As mother would say jokingly, "If the boys know half of what the girls know, it is not a crime. If the boys know how to hoe a farm or to make soup, that thing hanging in- between their thighs would not suddenly drop down!" And they did not drop when her sons sat in the simple soup-making class with the daughters and learnt alongside. 

It is not easy to step into big shoes or to wear them. Mother stepped into big shoes left behind by grandma, an equally amazing woman who excelled in many enviable fronts and was greatly respected by men. "Nwa Agbịrịgba" mother was sometimes called by some men. That meant "The offspring of Agbịrịgba." That was often uttered with great respect, for grandma was nicknamed "Agbịrịgba Tụgburu Ebule" (The small gummy seed that stuck to the hair of the ram and succeeded in killing it). Of course, this was an exaggeration, but it reminded one that grandma, a smallish woman, out-smarted many men and excelled in many good things. One has not got the strength to write about her yet. So, let us just have this for now. The point is that mother taught what she learned! It would have been a different story if her own mother was such a disaster. 

To prove that she wanted her pupils to be practically - oriented in getting attached to work, she would want us to be happily involved in any work father was doing. She would come around to check, greet and congratulate him. And father would work with additional energy! And, of course, most of us learned better. Obviously, mother was recreating father, extending him, but we hardly knew. It was very clear that mother liked father for liking his work and wanted us to be like him. 

Now, I see numerous hands working happily. I see numerous grandchildren and great grandchildren not clutching their android phones but their hoes and cutlasses to put food on the table. It is not just about the stomach as such but more about justifying one's daily existence. One has to be productive, not because others are watching to give a verdict, but because it gives one special joy and helps one to understand the whole purpose of creation. 

Nwa Agbịrịgba has won. Her attitude toward work is also a theory of herself and of work. She is saying that she emerged through beautiful work and has to continue working. Indeed, she is working as him, in him, through him. 

Nwa Agbịrịgba continues the Agbịrịgba idea.